Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
