You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
