Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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