So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
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I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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