Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
