It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
