i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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