he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
