there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
