ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize