I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
