She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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