I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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