the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
