You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she pinky promised me she was 18
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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