Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
