I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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