with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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