im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
