I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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