some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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