let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
