I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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