____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she woke up with a sticky ear
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
