talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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