i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
