i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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