I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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