it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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