I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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