your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
