I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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