Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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