I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
