youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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