lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize