How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
