You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The chlamydia really affected his face.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
