I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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