i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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