I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
