OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
