I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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