im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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