I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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