It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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