btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
