Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
