Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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