I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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