Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
