My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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