Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
