you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
