When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
