Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
