Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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