i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
