wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
