All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
