new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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