I'm passing your future prison.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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