i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
