Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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