Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
