sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
