I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
